Life Lessons from Lean In- Women, Work and the Will to Lead

Most of us are Facebook addicts. We like, we comment and we share content. Thankfully, I landed on this Shared video, which was Sheryl Sandberg’s TED TALK. It wasn’t 15 minutes of just another video. It led me to follow her and become a Fan. Next, I read her book- Lean In: Women, work and the will to lead.

 

 

She puts things so simply and makes them so relatable. I read the book and gathered a lot. I thought of sharing the 5 lessons I learnt from her writing:

1.       Women should not underestimate their ability:

She says, “Women are not making it to the top in any profession in any part of the world. The numbers are merely 15% and haven’t moved since 2002”

She gives interesting examples of her day to day life, how women accept things the way they come to them and don’t negotiate. How women give credit to others for their accomplishments. You don’t move ahead if you don’t believe in yourself and don’t feel you deserve that. You must love yourself for what you are and make others see your abilities too. She mentions, “Fortune does favour the bold and you’ll never know what you’re capable of if you don’t try.”

2.       Make sure your job excites you:

Sheryl Sandberg is the Chief Operating Officer of Facebook. Before she joined Facebook as its COO, she was Vice President of Global Online Sales and Operations at Google. Many would not want to leave a stable job for a newer organization. Sheryl talks about following your gutfeel.

Every morning when you get up, you must feel passionate and excited to go to work. Well, if it is not like that, think over it. You need to find something that you love doing. You and only can decide the right career for yourself.

3.       Don’t leave before you leave:

Women start thinking too much in future, way too early. Work in the present; don’t take decisions too far in advance. She says, “You need to start out your career with the assumption that you are going to stay in, Even if later on you do drop out for personal reasons, you shouldn’t go into your career thinking you.” Many women assume too much and compromise on career goals to make room for partners and children who may come in the future. Women need to start aiming big.

4.       Make your partner a real partner

When it is time to settle, find a partner who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. When both partners are working, understanding, mutual respect and lifelong partnership emerges.

She says, “As a society we put more pressure on our boys to succeed than on the girls.” It is a harder job for both genders to work inside the house, than outside. Life will be more settled if your partner becomes your real partner within your house.

 

5.       Stop comparing yourself with others, It’s ok to have Guilt:

A common mistake we do, not only in our careers, but also in our lives is- ‘comparing yourself with others’. Everyone has a different journey, different purpose and path in life. One must not feel small or big basis what is happening in others life. Follow your decisions and if they make you unhappy or dissatisfied, think, introspect and move forward.

A stay at home mom is not better or worse than a working mom. It is ok to have guilt of not spending enough time with your kids or being with them on their sports day. Sheryl Sandberg says, “Having it all is best regarded as a myth.”

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I follow these 5 lessons in my life. I’ve been working for 7 years and like everyone, there have been Highs and Lows in work and personal life. In such situations, you compare yourself with others. These lessons helped in balancing work, personal life and expectations. They helped in understanding that I need to believe in me and my capability and that I am the best judge of my situation. Following these makes me happy and positive about myself.  I realised that job for me is not only office; you cannot leave behind things that you love i.e. your hobbies. That’s when I took out time for myself and started with Painting, Craft and Writing again! 

These lessons help me in aiming big and having clarity in life. So, what are you waiting for? Lean in, you know your life, your goals and calling the best.

 Do what you love and do that like you are your own boss.

 

Feed the curator in you, visit Kutch!

Like most of you, I am a curious traveller. I had heard a lot of about Kutch, and it was on my list forever. It was time to take a short break and finally Kutch happened...

 

To tell you briefly, Kutch is the biggest district in Gujarat, situated in the west most part of the country, bordering Pakistan. Kutch is famous for its Heritage, Culture, Art, Embroidery, Food, Bells, Handicrafts, Bandhani, Mirror work and most importantly The Greater Rann of Kutch!

 

The Greater Rann of Kutch is an enormous stretch of white salt, which is seasonal as it gets submerged in water during rains and dries during rest of the year. Remember the book- ‘Love across the Salt Desert’ and the movie made on it- ‘Refugee’- it has been shot in Kutch.

 

My husband and I travelled to Kutch from Mumbai for a short 3 nights, 4 days break on 1st Jan 2016. (This is also the time when Rann Utsav is ongoing). We landed at Bhuj Airport and headed to the hotel- City the Village Resort. There were beautiful bhungas (mud houses) with beautiful Kutchi interiors.

 

 

Day 1: Bhuj and Mandvi

 

Mandvi is around 60km from Bhuj, we covered both places on the same day. We started with palaces in Bhuj that have been converted into Museums- Aaina Mahal and Prag Mahal. There are lot of old buildings which depict the stories of the calamitous earthquake.

 

One must visit Lakshmi Vilas Palace in Mandvi, which is popular for Bollywood movie shootings like Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam and is outstanding. You just cannot skip lunch at Osho- It is a very small restaurant but serves amazingly delicious Kutchi Thali. We went for an evening stroll at Mandvi beach. There were beautiful windmills, which made the walk even more beautiful.

   

  

 

Day 2: Nirona, Rann Utsav and The Greater Rann of Kutch

 

We checked out of the hotel and headed towards Nirona. It is a small village where artisans reside and showcase their Craft to visitors.

 

I was amazed to see Rogan Art- which is an Art as old as 300 years and native to Nirona, Copper Bells Craft and lac design on wood. They don’t only sell these here; they also take up workshops and demonstrate their art to visitors. Village kids will greet you with their best smiles; don’t forget to carry chocolates for them!

 

      

 

       

After an amazing tour, we left Nirona for Greater Rann of Kutch. You can choose when you want to visit the salt desert, some people opt for a night stroll (especially on Full Moon nights), we preferred to see sunset in the salt desert and visit Rann Utsav stalls in the night for some shopping (you will definitely need 2-3 hours here, there is so much to see).

 

And we finally reached the White Desert and I was awestruck!! No words would be enough to describe the beauty of the Salt Desert. We walked and walked and it would not end. We played with the salt, saw the sunset and enjoyed the folk music and activities.

 

 

        

We shopped at Rann Utsav Stalls for Kutchi suits, handicrafts, bells, embroidered pieces and jewellery and spent overnight at Kutch Resort.

 

Day 3: Kala Dungar, India Bridge and Nakhatrana

 

We left for Kala Dungar (black hill), which is also called the Magnetic Hill. The view is beautiful and you see the white desert from here. This was followed by India Bridge which is around 60km (you need permit from Bhuj to visit Indo-Pak Border, without the permit you can go up to India Bridge).

We left for Nakhatrana after this, which is almost 2 hours from Kala Dungar and enjoyed kutchi music, bon-fire and Kutchi dinner at Jaypee Resort.

 

     

Day 4: Mata na Madh, Koteshwar and back to Bhuj

 

Mata na Madh or Ashapura Temple is almost 1000 years old and Ma Amba is the Mother Goddess for people of Kutch. We sought blessings and left for Koteshwar Mahadev, lord Shiva’s temple which is western tip of India.

 

After fulfilling Darshan we left for Bhuj, keeping time in hand for some last minute shopping.

We boarded the flight with numerous memories of Kutch. It was an awesome start to the New Year for a curious curator like me. My home reminds me of the Kutch holiday, with the prized possessions that I’ve put in various spaces.

 

If you are planning a longer trip, you can visit Bhujodi, Dholavira and Lakhpat too.

 

Travel Tips:

• When to go:
• The best time is October – Mid February. That is when Rann of Kutch is dry and Rann Utsav happens.
• Check for Full Moon Night, White Desert looks its best on a Full Moon Night.
• How to go:
• Flight: Direct flight from Mumbai (1.5 hours)
• Train: Trains from Ahmedabad (6-8 Hours) and Mumbai (14-15 hours)
• Where to Stay: 
• There are packages available with Rann Utsav, but they are exorbitantly priced, about 18000 per night.
• There are many resorts and home stay options available priced between Rs 1500 to Rs 5000 per night.

Life Lessons from ‘Nil Battey Sannata’

For most people the best way to kill a lazy weekend is by watching a movie. Last weekend was a lazy one and we thought of watching a movie too J. I came across this movie ‘Nil Battey Sannata’ while checking for options @ bookmyshow app.

I didn’t know what to expect out of this movie but the rating was good and most people recommended this one and thus, the tickets were booked.

What I watched for 1 hour 45 minutes was absolutely brilliant and what I call meaningful cinema. The story is about a single mother and her daughter. The mother is a bai who does small jobs to provide for her and her daughter. She has big dreams for her daughter.

Initially, the title sounded weird, but intriguing. It was during the movie I actually understood the meaning and realised the title was so apt. Nil means nothing or Zero, battey is for division, sannata is silence or nothing which means Zero/Nothing is zero and talked about how education can change your life from zero to something more meaningful.

I was glued to the movie and yes, it made me unlearn and learn lot of things about life. I could see my mom in Swara Bhaskar, when she yelled at her girl to get ready for school or when she would not study, or when she would pamper her and dream big for her. Swara Bhaskar was the show stopper with her power packed performance. I loved her for her role in Tanu weds Manu too, but his one was kickass.

I thought I must share what touched me about the movie:

1.       A Mother is a Mother is a Mother:

She may be a Doctor, a Business Tycoon, a Teacher or a bai, but She is always a Mother first. She will always think well for us and guide us so that we achieve big in life. We may not realise this as kids and feel that she is pressurising us or wanting us to achieve what she couldn’t. But when we grow up, we can’t thank her enough for what she does for us.

In the movie, Swara Bhaskar aka Chanda is a bai who does multiple small jobs to earn for herself and her daughter. She wants her daughter to get good education, so that she becomes a Doctor/ Engineer/ IAS. She too pampers her girl, scolds her, plans for her future like every mother does.

 2.       Dreams are not only for the Rich:

Chanda had big dreams for her daughter Apu, she also knew dreams don’t come free and that she will have to earn money and save that for her daughter’s education.

Apu, on the other hand didn’t have any dreams. She gave her mother the shock of her life, when she told her, “I will become a bai, bai ki beti bai”. She told her she didn’t need education for that and that her mother won’t be able to provide for big dreams. Dreams are only for the rich. Hence, her interest in studies was declining and she dreaded Mathematics.

Chanda had thought that she will do whatever it takes to make her daughter realise that her dream is not to become a bai.

3.       A little effort from our side can help someone in achieving their dreams:

One of Chanda’s employers, the humanitarian Doctor who she called ‘didi’ (played by Ratna Pathak Shah) was her guide, her sister and did her best to help her out. She suggested that Chanda should get Apu enrolled in Mathematics tuitions and referred her to someone. The tutor told her he would give her 50% discount if her daughter got 50% marks in pre-boards.

Didi realised her helplessness was because she was a class 10 dropout, else she would have understood where Apu was struggling. She suggested that Chanda should start her studies and in the same school as Apu so that she realises what all her mother is doing for her, hence she accompanied her to Apu’s school for admission.

4.       It is never too late to start:

We may want to learn so much in life or do things that please us, but something or the other stops us from going ahead. We fear about people’s opinions about us. We are afraid of going out of our comfort zone.

Chanda too had these fears, but she could overcome those and start school again. She learnt and also pushed her daughter to learn.

5.       Where there is a will, there is a way:

Chanda could have been like other bais and not given importance to her daughter’s future. She knew she would need money and motivation. She worked at multiple places to earn money and studied for herself and her daughter.

She fought her way out and could touch her daughter’s heart and make her realise that she must study and education is what can change her life. The movie ends with Apu’s IAS interview, when she is asked, “Aap IAS kyun karna chahti hain?” and she responds, “kyunki main bai nahi banna chahti.”

 

To summarize the movie – “An amazing and inspiring movie that puts everyone at par irrespective of the social status and tells everyone about their right to dream and inspire others.

 

Waiting for more such inspiring movies.

 

 

Never judge a book by it's cover, the story may be deep and inspiring !

You can call me a typical India Girl who loves Shahrukh and Kajol and for whom love means “Diwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge”. You watch “Tujhe Dekha to Ye jaana sanam” and in a moment you get transferred from your place to the Swiss Alps and all you want is stay there.  When the song gets over you come back to reality, on your couch, with probably some wafers.

I have also travelled to these peaks many times while on the Yash Raj movication. Like most Indians I too always wished to actually visit this beautiful Country and I had been planning for long. Finally, in July-August 2014 ‘We’ could fulfil ‘Our’ dream and Switzerland happened!

We travelled extensively to Zurich, Schaffhausen, Rhine Falls, Mt. Titlis, Engelberg, Lucerne, Mt. Pilatus etc. What a Country! (I was and am still in love with every bit of it).

It was 3^rd August 2014 and it was our last day in Switzerland. The next day we were flying to Paris. We were stationed in Lucerne and the plan was to visit Interlaken that day. The train, the platform and the duration of the journey had been checked. We were ready and reached the station well in time to catch the 10 am train from Lucerne to Interlaken.

It was a 2 hour journey and we wanted to get the best seats to be comfortable. The train wasn’t really full, but to our dismay we didn’t find a cabin exclusively to ourselves. There was a 4 seater cabin occupied by an old man who definitely looked 80+years old. We looked all over wondering where to sit, and then this man smiled and somehow we decided to sit there.

Okay! So we started for Interlaken, all set for a beautiful train journey (probably the best train routes in Switzerland) with the camera ready in my hand to capture as much of this beautiful Country as possible.    

While I was busy clicking pictures, he started a conversation with my Husband and me. There is something about that conversation that opened my perspective about life and I am tempted to share that with everyone who reads this.

We talked about ‘Us’, the places we had seen in Switzerland in the last few days and that we were from India. We asked him if he was travelling with someone. He replied he was not. We asked him, if he didn’t mind telling us his age and he told us that he 85 years old (what inspired me further was an 85 year old man, using a walking stick was travelling all alone).

We asked him if he stayed in Lucerne and was visiting someone in Interlaken. That’s when he told us, he was actually a German, residing in Spain with his partner (Ahaan! So he mentioned Partner and not wife, may be was in a live in relationship). This was an annual ritual for him since last 30+ years. They were five friends who had been catching up every year in Interlaken for spending 3-4 days together. They have never skipped that and though he is 85 now and gets tired, he will continue doing this till he can. (Well that’s enthusiasm, true friendship and living like one wants). He told us he will reach before the other friends so he will sit by the river or somewhere and spend some alone time.

“So, what do you do when all of you catch up?” I asked him. He told me we all meet and talk and listen to some music and talk again and he smiled. (There was something about him; he was talking effortlessly naturally, flawlessly and straight from his heart).

So we asked him, what he used to do when he was young. He told us he was a soldier in the German Army during World War II. (Whoa! So was a Hero, respect multiplied by 10, there is this man who has also contributed to his country)

The next question was about his Partner and we were careful to not cross the line. “What about your partner?” I asked.  He replied, “HE is 30 years younger to me, HE takes very good care of me and understands me so well. We aren’t married, but we plan to get married soon, it wasn’t so cool till some years back and I shifted from Germany. We have been together for 10 years and we love each other a lot.”

So, he was GAY. (You know what, respect for him increased 100 times, he was a Soldier, he had friends, he lived happily, he was such a nice human being, he finally got the courage of staying with his love at the age of 75, he was finally living with him, he had his own struggles and he was finally planning to get married). I felt happy for him, Sad for him, Proud of him, I had many emotions which I couldn’t express then, but I felt, everyone needs to know about him and get inspired and thought of writing about him.

Why do we judge homosexual people, where are they wrong? Why are they ridiculed? They are just like us in thought process, in things they do or like, they have friends, and they too contribute to the society. Why can't we give them their rights and space? This is all the more relevant in context of our country.

We reached Interlaken and didn’t realise how 2 hours had passed. He told us which bus we should take to reach the river and told us he will guide us to the bus stop. He took his walking stick and guided us.

We were about to leave, we greeted each other, smiled and told him how meeting him was so special to us. We boarded the bus and he boarded his bus. We had lunch and reached the train station near the river for our cruise. We saw him sitting there with the stick in one hand, smiling at people and humming to him. I can’t express how pleasing that site was.

We are not in touch, but I hope he has married his partner; he has fulfilled all that his heart desires. Amen!