Breakfree

Break-free

At 32, Radhika had achieved a lot in her life. She was holding a master's degree from one of the best business schools of India and working at an enviable position with a leading Multi-National Company.

Born in a middle class family, she had worked hard to achieve this. Her parents were proud of her and couldn't contain their excitement. Why should they? Their daughter had gifted them their first car.

Radhika had just returned from a 15-day European holiday. Despite her mother telling her to pack well, she had chosen to carry her backpack and stay with a local European family. It was strange for her mother, for Radhika could afford the best hotels, but chose not to. She was also worried for her safety, for she travelled alone for the first time and didn’t even want her friends to accompany her.

It was a lovely Sunday afternoon. Mother called out to Radhika, “Lunch is ready, come over.” She got no response and called her again, then the third time and then she came out of the kitchen. Radhika was standing by the window, lost in her thoughts. Mother patted her shoulder when she broke her eye contact with the parrot who was sitting near the window for a long time.

“Mom, I want to quit my job.” Radhika said.

Mother was stunned, she said, “I thought, you loved your job. They value you and pay you so well. Didn't you tell me last month, that they will promote you soon? People look up to you, they envy your position.”

“That's right mom, they are promoting me next week. But there is something missing, something incomplete.” Radhika said.

She continued, “People envy my position, but you know what I envy? That parrot!”

Mother wanted to hear more. “Look at it, isn't it beautiful? People want to cage it, so that they own a beautiful bird. The parrot may look beautiful in the cage too, but then it is not living the way it should. Mom, I want to break free just like that parrot. I am a traveler, I love exploring places and cultures. I am quitting my job next week and joining a traveler’s club.” She said, with twinkle in her eyes.

Mother smiled and said, “They are right when they say, kids can teach a lot to their parents. We gave birth to you, but you gave me the meaning of life. Go and fly high.”

It’s been 5 years and today Radhika and her husband own a Travel Company and doing what they love the most. Together, they make people fly high and fulfil their travel dreams as well. She is one very happy person today and enjoys her life.

Do what you love. Break free.

Dear Rose! You are beautiful...

I love Roses. I am sure many of us love Roses. They possess that unique something about them- I guess that something is 'beauty' both how they look and how they make others feel around them- beautiful!

Here is my short poem on Rose...

Dear Rose.. teach me your skill,
You cheer up my friend, when she is ill!

The love of my life, you make her smile,
She throws her hair back and hugs me in style!...

A birthday or a wedding, you make them special too,
Your beautiful colours attract everyone towards you!

Red, yellow, pink or white,
Oh, all of them are equally bright!

Though your life is short, and you die a painful death,
You spread happiness and love, till your last breath!

Home Away from Home!

I have been away from my home for 10 years. You know, you move to a new city, you resist it a little, you love it a little, as you know- 'This is Not Home'.

I moved to Mumbai in May 2012 and like a typical Delhi-ite, I wasn't too fond of Mumbai. Ask me today, I am neutral (and that is a big thing because it is difficult to take Delhi out of me).

Today, I am back to my home town, with family and friends, but while I was vacating my Mumbai house on 18th Dec 2016, I felt weird, sad and nostalgic. I felt I was LEAVING HOME! And that's when I penned my farewell poem for my Mumbai home.

Miss you my Home in Mumbai!

The Roller Coaster Ride- year 2016!

2016, have you been funny? Or a little weird, no you have been a Roller coaster ride for me. Adventurous in short! They say, ‘Life is a Roller coaster, full of twists and turns’ and you have been just that.

You haven’t given me a lazy moment, good or bad, I have been on my toes. I could have reached out to Ekta Kapoor and I am sure, she would have made another serial, ‘Kahani 2016 ki’ or ‘2016- Ek Anokhi kahaani’.  

But as they say everything happens for a reason, 2016 you have been a great teacher. You have been like a Bollywood movie, where one half may differ from the second, but in the end, they live happily ever after.

So here I go about, sharing the life changing experiences 2016 gave me…

1^st Jan 2016: We woke up at 4 am (no it wasn’t for a Yoga class), we were off to Kutch. What a start to the new year, a place so beautiful, so refreshing. A dream location! The white desert, the traditional Rogan Art, yummy food, the cozy bhungas, the beautiful sea, the lavish palaces, the best smiles and happiness all around. 3 days in Kutch and you rejuvenate.

Well holidays end, and then you land in office. Well it wasn’t bad at all, as I moved in a new profile, the profile I had wanted to handle. New role, an awesome boss and the profile you always eyed, what else do you want?

While New year resolutions get made in December, they come to life (well sometimes they don’t) a few months later. In February 2016, the weight loss tamasha started.

·         Step 1: Get a weighing scale (get shocked and depressed)

·         Step 2: Decide a workout routine (I opted for brisk morning walk)

·         Step 3: Counting calories (download app)

It worked for me, 3 months of dedication and 9 kg weight loss J (Only to put on 6 by the end of the year)

May 2016: Last year, I had started writing a blog, but I wanted a platform that would appreciate my words and connect me with like-minded souls. I came across Siyawoman and that’s what gave wings to my writing dreams. I wrote my first article for Siyawoman and though I haven’t been regular, I feel proud of myself. Resolution No. 2- Check.

Weekends were for myself. I started again with a hobby I had forgotten in the race of being a super woman- painting and DIY, a big stress buster for me, I painted, made jewellery boxes, vases, learnt decoupage and lots of other stuff.

June 2016: Just when you feel happy, be prepared for a twist. Destiny (read Ekta Kapoor) decides to separate Husband and wife and move hubby dear to Kolkata. Well, it wasn’t easy and we were not sure how we will manage. It’s not that we haven’t been like this earlier, but after 6 years of marriage, you don’t want to stay apart. And then frequent trips between Mumbai and Kolkata started. I am sure many people would have been in this situation, for those who haven’t, this drains you financially, physically and mentally.

September 2016: Amidst this, I got to know of the #AtypicalWomanWritesE02 contest by SiyaWoman. My dear friend and I participated in that and won the first prize. The happiness that came with this, was a big change from the mess in personal life, I was going through.

About 10 trips in 3 months along with other work related travel, put me under lot of stress and I fell ill. For the first time, I took 12 sick leaves in a month and experienced frequent Hospital trips, hubby not being around and mommy dear travelling to be with me. Stress does this to you.

October 2016: In between this I turned 30. I had my hubby and mommy with me, who made it so much better and pleasing for me, despite the health issues going on. Just another day, that felt much special.

But 2016, You have been kind, you were back on track- Hubby got an awesome job and moved to Delhi.

I needed a big change from the monotonous work at office and opted for a sabbatical to pursue my passion- Writing and learn new things in the Art and Craft world.

December 2016: So finally, I have taken a break and joined my family, who have stood with me, through thick and thin. I am trying to locate a few missing pieces of the jigsaw puzzle of my life by learning a few more things. As they say, you live only once, so live on your terms.

I leant a few mantras in this journey, that I carry with me for life:

·         One step at a time.

·         This too shall pass.

·         It’s not important to win a point, it is important to win the game.

Dear 2016, If I plot you on a graph, you look like normal ECG, which tells me you have been just right. A balanced, straight line would have been so boring.

Looking forward to excellent 2017. Stay high!

Life Lessons from Lean In- Women, Work and the Will to Lead

Most of us are Facebook addicts. We like, we comment and we share content. Thankfully, I landed on this Shared video, which was Sheryl Sandberg’s TED TALK. It wasn’t 15 minutes of just another video. It led me to follow her and become a Fan. Next, I read her book- Lean In: Women, work and the will to lead.

 

 

She puts things so simply and makes them so relatable. I read the book and gathered a lot. I thought of sharing the 5 lessons I learnt from her writing:

1.       Women should not underestimate their ability:

She says, “Women are not making it to the top in any profession in any part of the world. The numbers are merely 15% and haven’t moved since 2002”

She gives interesting examples of her day to day life, how women accept things the way they come to them and don’t negotiate. How women give credit to others for their accomplishments. You don’t move ahead if you don’t believe in yourself and don’t feel you deserve that. You must love yourself for what you are and make others see your abilities too. She mentions, “Fortune does favour the bold and you’ll never know what you’re capable of if you don’t try.”

2.       Make sure your job excites you:

Sheryl Sandberg is the Chief Operating Officer of Facebook. Before she joined Facebook as its COO, she was Vice President of Global Online Sales and Operations at Google. Many would not want to leave a stable job for a newer organization. Sheryl talks about following your gutfeel.

Every morning when you get up, you must feel passionate and excited to go to work. Well, if it is not like that, think over it. You need to find something that you love doing. You and only can decide the right career for yourself.

3.       Don’t leave before you leave:

Women start thinking too much in future, way too early. Work in the present; don’t take decisions too far in advance. She says, “You need to start out your career with the assumption that you are going to stay in, Even if later on you do drop out for personal reasons, you shouldn’t go into your career thinking you.” Many women assume too much and compromise on career goals to make room for partners and children who may come in the future. Women need to start aiming big.

4.       Make your partner a real partner

When it is time to settle, find a partner who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. When both partners are working, understanding, mutual respect and lifelong partnership emerges.

She says, “As a society we put more pressure on our boys to succeed than on the girls.” It is a harder job for both genders to work inside the house, than outside. Life will be more settled if your partner becomes your real partner within your house.

 

5.       Stop comparing yourself with others, It’s ok to have Guilt:

A common mistake we do, not only in our careers, but also in our lives is- ‘comparing yourself with others’. Everyone has a different journey, different purpose and path in life. One must not feel small or big basis what is happening in others life. Follow your decisions and if they make you unhappy or dissatisfied, think, introspect and move forward.

A stay at home mom is not better or worse than a working mom. It is ok to have guilt of not spending enough time with your kids or being with them on their sports day. Sheryl Sandberg says, “Having it all is best regarded as a myth.”

……………………………………………

I follow these 5 lessons in my life. I’ve been working for 7 years and like everyone, there have been Highs and Lows in work and personal life. In such situations, you compare yourself with others. These lessons helped in balancing work, personal life and expectations. They helped in understanding that I need to believe in me and my capability and that I am the best judge of my situation. Following these makes me happy and positive about myself.  I realised that job for me is not only office; you cannot leave behind things that you love i.e. your hobbies. That’s when I took out time for myself and started with Painting, Craft and Writing again! 

These lessons help me in aiming big and having clarity in life. So, what are you waiting for? Lean in, you know your life, your goals and calling the best.

 Do what you love and do that like you are your own boss.

 

Feed the curator in you, visit Kutch!

Like most of you, I am a curious traveller. I had heard a lot of about Kutch, and it was on my list forever. It was time to take a short break and finally Kutch happened...

 

To tell you briefly, Kutch is the biggest district in Gujarat, situated in the west most part of the country, bordering Pakistan. Kutch is famous for its Heritage, Culture, Art, Embroidery, Food, Bells, Handicrafts, Bandhani, Mirror work and most importantly The Greater Rann of Kutch!

 

The Greater Rann of Kutch is an enormous stretch of white salt, which is seasonal as it gets submerged in water during rains and dries during rest of the year. Remember the book- ‘Love across the Salt Desert’ and the movie made on it- ‘Refugee’- it has been shot in Kutch.

 

My husband and I travelled to Kutch from Mumbai for a short 3 nights, 4 days break on 1st Jan 2016. (This is also the time when Rann Utsav is ongoing). We landed at Bhuj Airport and headed to the hotel- City the Village Resort. There were beautiful bhungas (mud houses) with beautiful Kutchi interiors.

 

 

Day 1: Bhuj and Mandvi

 

Mandvi is around 60km from Bhuj, we covered both places on the same day. We started with palaces in Bhuj that have been converted into Museums- Aaina Mahal and Prag Mahal. There are lot of old buildings which depict the stories of the calamitous earthquake.

 

One must visit Lakshmi Vilas Palace in Mandvi, which is popular for Bollywood movie shootings like Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam and is outstanding. You just cannot skip lunch at Osho- It is a very small restaurant but serves amazingly delicious Kutchi Thali. We went for an evening stroll at Mandvi beach. There were beautiful windmills, which made the walk even more beautiful.

   

  

 

Day 2: Nirona, Rann Utsav and The Greater Rann of Kutch

 

We checked out of the hotel and headed towards Nirona. It is a small village where artisans reside and showcase their Craft to visitors.

 

I was amazed to see Rogan Art- which is an Art as old as 300 years and native to Nirona, Copper Bells Craft and lac design on wood. They don’t only sell these here; they also take up workshops and demonstrate their art to visitors. Village kids will greet you with their best smiles; don’t forget to carry chocolates for them!

 

      

 

       

After an amazing tour, we left Nirona for Greater Rann of Kutch. You can choose when you want to visit the salt desert, some people opt for a night stroll (especially on Full Moon nights), we preferred to see sunset in the salt desert and visit Rann Utsav stalls in the night for some shopping (you will definitely need 2-3 hours here, there is so much to see).

 

And we finally reached the White Desert and I was awestruck!! No words would be enough to describe the beauty of the Salt Desert. We walked and walked and it would not end. We played with the salt, saw the sunset and enjoyed the folk music and activities.

 

 

        

We shopped at Rann Utsav Stalls for Kutchi suits, handicrafts, bells, embroidered pieces and jewellery and spent overnight at Kutch Resort.

 

Day 3: Kala Dungar, India Bridge and Nakhatrana

 

We left for Kala Dungar (black hill), which is also called the Magnetic Hill. The view is beautiful and you see the white desert from here. This was followed by India Bridge which is around 60km (you need permit from Bhuj to visit Indo-Pak Border, without the permit you can go up to India Bridge).

We left for Nakhatrana after this, which is almost 2 hours from Kala Dungar and enjoyed kutchi music, bon-fire and Kutchi dinner at Jaypee Resort.

 

     

Day 4: Mata na Madh, Koteshwar and back to Bhuj

 

Mata na Madh or Ashapura Temple is almost 1000 years old and Ma Amba is the Mother Goddess for people of Kutch. We sought blessings and left for Koteshwar Mahadev, lord Shiva’s temple which is western tip of India.

 

After fulfilling Darshan we left for Bhuj, keeping time in hand for some last minute shopping.

We boarded the flight with numerous memories of Kutch. It was an awesome start to the New Year for a curious curator like me. My home reminds me of the Kutch holiday, with the prized possessions that I’ve put in various spaces.

 

If you are planning a longer trip, you can visit Bhujodi, Dholavira and Lakhpat too.

 

Travel Tips:

• When to go:
• The best time is October – Mid February. That is when Rann of Kutch is dry and Rann Utsav happens.
• Check for Full Moon Night, White Desert looks its best on a Full Moon Night.
• How to go:
• Flight: Direct flight from Mumbai (1.5 hours)
• Train: Trains from Ahmedabad (6-8 Hours) and Mumbai (14-15 hours)
• Where to Stay: 
• There are packages available with Rann Utsav, but they are exorbitantly priced, about 18000 per night.
• There are many resorts and home stay options available priced between Rs 1500 to Rs 5000 per night.

Life Lessons from ‘Nil Battey Sannata’

For most people the best way to kill a lazy weekend is by watching a movie. Last weekend was a lazy one and we thought of watching a movie too J. I came across this movie ‘Nil Battey Sannata’ while checking for options @ bookmyshow app.

I didn’t know what to expect out of this movie but the rating was good and most people recommended this one and thus, the tickets were booked.

What I watched for 1 hour 45 minutes was absolutely brilliant and what I call meaningful cinema. The story is about a single mother and her daughter. The mother is a bai who does small jobs to provide for her and her daughter. She has big dreams for her daughter.

Initially, the title sounded weird, but intriguing. It was during the movie I actually understood the meaning and realised the title was so apt. Nil means nothing or Zero, battey is for division, sannata is silence or nothing which means Zero/Nothing is zero and talked about how education can change your life from zero to something more meaningful.

I was glued to the movie and yes, it made me unlearn and learn lot of things about life. I could see my mom in Swara Bhaskar, when she yelled at her girl to get ready for school or when she would not study, or when she would pamper her and dream big for her. Swara Bhaskar was the show stopper with her power packed performance. I loved her for her role in Tanu weds Manu too, but his one was kickass.

I thought I must share what touched me about the movie:

1.       A Mother is a Mother is a Mother:

She may be a Doctor, a Business Tycoon, a Teacher or a bai, but She is always a Mother first. She will always think well for us and guide us so that we achieve big in life. We may not realise this as kids and feel that she is pressurising us or wanting us to achieve what she couldn’t. But when we grow up, we can’t thank her enough for what she does for us.

In the movie, Swara Bhaskar aka Chanda is a bai who does multiple small jobs to earn for herself and her daughter. She wants her daughter to get good education, so that she becomes a Doctor/ Engineer/ IAS. She too pampers her girl, scolds her, plans for her future like every mother does.

 2.       Dreams are not only for the Rich:

Chanda had big dreams for her daughter Apu, she also knew dreams don’t come free and that she will have to earn money and save that for her daughter’s education.

Apu, on the other hand didn’t have any dreams. She gave her mother the shock of her life, when she told her, “I will become a bai, bai ki beti bai”. She told her she didn’t need education for that and that her mother won’t be able to provide for big dreams. Dreams are only for the rich. Hence, her interest in studies was declining and she dreaded Mathematics.

Chanda had thought that she will do whatever it takes to make her daughter realise that her dream is not to become a bai.

3.       A little effort from our side can help someone in achieving their dreams:

One of Chanda’s employers, the humanitarian Doctor who she called ‘didi’ (played by Ratna Pathak Shah) was her guide, her sister and did her best to help her out. She suggested that Chanda should get Apu enrolled in Mathematics tuitions and referred her to someone. The tutor told her he would give her 50% discount if her daughter got 50% marks in pre-boards.

Didi realised her helplessness was because she was a class 10 dropout, else she would have understood where Apu was struggling. She suggested that Chanda should start her studies and in the same school as Apu so that she realises what all her mother is doing for her, hence she accompanied her to Apu’s school for admission.

4.       It is never too late to start:

We may want to learn so much in life or do things that please us, but something or the other stops us from going ahead. We fear about people’s opinions about us. We are afraid of going out of our comfort zone.

Chanda too had these fears, but she could overcome those and start school again. She learnt and also pushed her daughter to learn.

5.       Where there is a will, there is a way:

Chanda could have been like other bais and not given importance to her daughter’s future. She knew she would need money and motivation. She worked at multiple places to earn money and studied for herself and her daughter.

She fought her way out and could touch her daughter’s heart and make her realise that she must study and education is what can change her life. The movie ends with Apu’s IAS interview, when she is asked, “Aap IAS kyun karna chahti hain?” and she responds, “kyunki main bai nahi banna chahti.”

 

To summarize the movie – “An amazing and inspiring movie that puts everyone at par irrespective of the social status and tells everyone about their right to dream and inspire others.

 

Waiting for more such inspiring movies.